Ssshh…keep it to yourself

Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself? 

In the offline world, I’m more of a listener than a talker, so my blog is where I let it all out.
In the offline world, I keep the psychological effects of diabetes, close to my heart. People find it difficult getting to grips with the physical effects, so I find it even more frustrating trying to explain how diabetes makes me feel. Sometimes, it feels like diabetes is all about numbers and lucozade, to people who have no experience of diabetes. It’s not their fault, I know that.

Even with the people close to me, I find myself holding back. Sure, they understand that diabetes is tough, and I have ‘bad diabetes’ days. They understand that there will be days when I don’t want to talk about my diabetes, full stop. They understand that there will be days when I want to talk about my condition, about how my sugars are high or low, and why.

But for the days where I want to hide under the duvet and cry, I don’t like people to see me. I think I hide my feelings because I want to be strong. I want to be winning. I feel that if I tell people that my sugars are constantly out of range, they’ll judge me, based on my numbers. That they won’t take into consideration how tired, how angry, how frustrated these numbers make me feel. THEY ONLY SEE THE NUMBERS.

To those of you reading this post, please forgive me for not always opening up. I’ve always struggled, even before I had diabetes. I’m getting better, but that is why I keep this blog. Bear with me, and forgive me if I appear quiet, grumpy or miserable – it could be the result of a bad diabetes day!

 

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3 thoughts on “Ssshh…keep it to yourself

  1. Everyone has bad diabetes days. Nobody is perfect, and that’s why I love sharing/reading about imperfect experiences too. I agree completely with you, I hold back because I don’t want to be judged or pitied. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. That’s a similar reason to why I don’t really talk about numbers with people who don’t really understand diabetes. The numbers won’t make sense to them, the context is missing, so they just see someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. And we know that’s not true!

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