Diabetes is very much like a jigsaw puzzle, I’ve come to realise. All the different health checks we take as a result of our condition, all the things we have to consider on a daily basis – what food we are eating, what exercise we’re taking, why our sugars levels are what they are. Piece everything together, and you end up with someone who lives with and deals with diabetes.
Lately, I’ve not been able to fit my jigsaw puzzle together – a few pieces are missing. I had my retinal screening this week and that’s fine. I have healthy eyes and nothing to worry about just yet. I also have a check up with my DSN tomorrow, to look at my diabetes management in general. I think it is this impending appointment, that has made me realise and acknowledge that my jigsaw puzzle isn’t quite there, yet.
I’ve been struggling over the past few months, with my frame of mind. As a result, certain things have stopped. I’ve stopped going to zumba class. For whatever reason, zumba has quickly turned from being my favourite form of exercise, to my nemesis that brings on anxiety. I don’t know why, which makes it harder for me to overcome. As a result of not going zumba, all exercise seems to have stopped. I’m not happy about this. I know that exercise is good for the mind and good for glucose levels, but that doesn’t seem to be enough to keep on going. I felt especially guilty last week, as instead of zumba, I pigged out at Pizza Hut (the pizza was tasty though!).
Aside from the exercise, I’ve also stopped taking the care that I used to have, in recording my glucose levels. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I wrote every reading in a book. After completing the DAFNE course in August 2013, I turned to uploading my readings to the DAFNE site. This is still my preferred method for recording my glucose levels. It’s very useful to print and take along to my appointments with the DSN.
In a panic today, I uploaded my data to the DAFNE site. I hadn’t done this since 3rd October. Over a month. So for the past month, i haven’t noticed any patterns and hadn’t made any changes to my insulin. If I’m being honest, even now that I’ve uploaded the readings, I don’t know what to make of it. It seems that over the past month I’ve been running too high at breakfast, dinner and before bed. This could mean I need to make changes to my doses, but I can’t think what to do. I hope that the DSN tomorrow can shed some light.
Lastly, I’ve become lazy when it comes to both checking my levels and actually taking my insulin. This is perhaps the most urgent thing I need to pay some attention to. I know that I need to check my levels more frequently. I know that I need to make sure my doses are accurate – I’ve gotten into the habit of rounding up and down to the nearest unit. I don’t really need to do this as I have a half unit pen so Novorapid. I also know that I need to make sure I check my levels before driving. My reason for not recently doing so, is because all the occasions that I do check, I am more often than not, high.
Above all, I also know that I need to stop giving myself a hard time about my diabetes. I have acknowledged what I need to do to take better care, and if I have the support of my DSN, I can put my jigsaw puzzle together.