A while back, I got myself into a state, leading to an anxiety attack in the middle of the night, and spent most of the next day crying. Looking back ,I don’t know how or why I worked myself up to this degree. I really don’t. However, at the time, I felt like this was the worst thing in the world and I had let myself down. The reason…I had planned to ‘run’ a mile near where I live, to see how far I could go.
Initially, I was buzzing at this thought. I was excited. I don’t know how this transpired into fear and anxiety, but it did and it stopped me doing anything, let alone running. I felt like a failure, and I was convinced that because I couldn’t do it today, I couldn’t ever do it. I wish these types of thoughts would invade my mind.
Fast forward 2 months, and I am ready to start again. I have finally started going zumba again, now that my life is starting to calm down. What’s more, I’m trying to push myself toward a walk/run regime. Monday evening, I did a routine of 2 minutes’ running, followed by 2 minutes’ walking, and repeating for a mile. I did this in 13 minutes and 30 seconds. On paper this looks pretty pathetic. Compared with my friends who regularly run 10km, this routine probably wouldn’t even make them break out in a sweat! To me though, it was more the fact that I told myself I wanted to do something, and I did it. This then, made me feel proud of myself.
I did the same routine again Tuesday evening, and was 20 seconds quicker than Monday. I know this really doesn’t sound like a lot, but to me, I’m doing something for myself. I told my partner I thought 2minutes’ runninng and 2 minutes’ walking sounded pathetic, but his reply was very true. He pointed out that a lot of people wouldn’t be able to say they had even ran for 2 minutes, so I DO have something to be proud of.
I don’t care about race times; I know I’m going nowhere fast. What I do want is to build up the distance I can run. My friend did a 10km run in May, and I want to be able to join her next year.
If anyone has any tips on learning to run, please do feel free to comment. I need all the help I can get!